Thanksgivings

Five stars. (★★★★★)

I spent Thursday's 8.5-mile run looking back on my lifetime of Thanksgivings. (I'm building a practice of "intentional remembering" during long, meditative runs.)

I have a handful of specific Thanksgiving memories, and surprisingly few photos. Most of my memories blur into eras and vibes.

Childhood: Mom's Home Cooking

In the chill of early Wisconsin winter, Thanksgiving was the best meal of the year. Mom made a spread of salt, sugar and fat. I ate until stuffed. Multiple servings of mashed potatoes and gravy, candied yams, cheesy broccoli, homemade cranberry sauce, hot rolls smothered with butter. Saving the wishbone. Sometimes the Smith grandparents visited, otherwise it was just our family.

Once in in my early teens I had dinner at a friend's house and felt empty and sad about the bleak microwaved vegetables and sliced white bread. It deepened my appreciation for the richness of my childhood Thanksgiving feasts.

Late Teens-Early 20s: Replicating Mom's Table

My college years in Louisiana were a difficult and isolated time; I try not to remember. I recreated Mom's dinner from scratch using her recipes. I did a pretty good job, and found comfort in it.

20s-30s: Family and Friendsgivings

At age 22 I returned home to Wisconsin. I stopped eating meat and commenced "sides only" Thanksgiving meals. Still delicious.

While I lived in Wisconsin and Minnesota, Thanksgivings would have been spent in Chippewa Falls with Mom, siblings and various pets. There was a friendsgiving hosted by my high school best friend Jenny around this time.

Then a year St. Petersburg, Florida (I must have spent that one alone?) and back to Minneapolis in 2002.

In 2005 I hosted Dad, Susan and young Spencer at my condo on Chicago Avenue in Minneapolis. Gracie was a pup.

From 2006-2011 I lived in San Diego and Del Mar; I recall at least one friends-and-family Thanksgiving with my boss Ed and his wife, at their gorgeous Del Mar home overlooking the ocean.

Sometime in this era was a trip to San Jose for a big Thanksgiving with Dad, Raquel and a house full of guests - and Tamara's new kitten, Sprinkles. At the end of the day Gracie was presented with the entire turkey carcass and stunned by enormity of it. I have a photo somewhere.

Then back to Minnesota. I made a few Tofurkey dinners in this era, including one for Mom - but I can't recall when.

There was a Florida beach Thanksgiving in 2012 with the aunts; it was a rare treat to be together, although sand and paella don't offer the cozy vibes I desire this time of year.

40s-50s: California, Colorado and COVID

I moved to Mountain View in October 2014 (age 39) and spent my first Bay Area Thanksgiving hiking in the hills in the warm sunshine. I was nostalgic for the cozy midwestern weather - but also fresh and energized for my next chapter.

The next year I must have flown back to Minnesota and Wisconsin, since I have this adorable picture of Gracie and Penny at Susan's house.

With COVID isolation in 2020, I experienced my first guilt-free solo holiday season. I loved it. I enjoy family time, but my soul also needs solitude. Since then I've been a bit greedy for "me time" around the holidays, balancing social time with peace for my jangled nerves. It's the only time when work can (usually) fade into the background and I can recenter myself.

In 2021 we got together in Montana for a lovely family visit. Dad's birthday usually falls within a few days of Thanksgiving; it's nice to extend the celebration.

I've spent the last three Thanksgivings (2022-2024) in Colorado with Leah, Seppi and Fifi - my chosen family. It's been an honor and a comfort to spend this time with them and their local friends. The food is always delicious and made with love.

2025: Chilling in San Jose

This year I decided to stay home. It was a long, bumpy year and I was exhausted. I spent the afternoon with Dad and Raquel in San Jose. Raquel made my favorite quiche and tasty sides. We walked around the neighborhood, ate pecan and pumpkin pie for dessert, and played a couple of NYT Crosswords. I saw them again a couple days later Raquel's holiday gathering and Dad's birthday. It's been a lovely start to the holiday season and I am filled with gratitude.